I'd like to acknowledge,,,

I think all the boyfriends that go shopping with their girlfriends deserve a little recognition. Today, at the mall, I saw so many tired, frazzled looking guys sitting outside dressing rooms, or following girls holding all of thier clothes. I wonder if they paid for all of it too. Anyhow. I just wanted to hug all of those poor guys, they'll only be able to put with so much of that. I would never put my boyfriend through that, unless he liked to shop and really wanted to come and would actually participate in the shopping, instead of following me around like a dog on a rope. If you do that do a dog, and forget to feed it, it'll bite you eventually, and we don't want that to happen, now do we. We might get rabies. Its a good idea for you and your boyfriend to go and get tested together...

So guys, if you want a girlfriend that won't do that to you, my number is...... just kidding. Im kind of taken ;-). But, I thought of you all today, even if your girlfriends didnt. Have a super day, and drag her along somewhere she doesnt really want to go, reminding her of your hours in stores that don't even sell anything for guys.

Love!
Monika =)

kiss.....

the best movie kiss ive ever seen... go watch the end of A Knights Tale.... the girl is kind of ugly, but Heath... and you can tell he's got some skill in the kissing department....
sigh....

Love~
Monika ;-)

The joy of gaping mouths

can you say "anger towards blog"...
blog deleted my first post... whatever.

Just a comment... from David...
"Wow! Monika! You look beautiful!..." and a huge hug...
yeah I miss him sometimes...
I miss a lot to do with my old church, and with all the people that didnt recognize me until my grandma told them who i was today.... they all gaped at me... then came the "Wow!" and "I couldnt believe it was you!" and "I feel old!" "you look great!" "how old are you now?" "youre beautiful!"
and i just nodded and smiled, and got depressed because everyones getting older, all my old sunday school teachers and everything, and they totally renovated my old church... and "people" got engaged... but I loved seeing them, it brought back a lot. Im starting to get old enough to see how people get older, people i grew up around. I love my new church, but they havent known me since forever, but that's not their fault. And plus, some people I wish i couldve brought with me from my old church, but i just had to let them go...
I could go on about this all day, so i'll just stop.

Love-
Monika

Oh, it's Christmas? Sorry, I forgot.

Yeah this year it just didn't feel like Christmas. I think it's just because I'm getting older (or maybe it was just the lack of snow) and you know, you feel less when you're older. It sucks big time... I miss being able to feel everything so much like when you were a kid, but I guess pretty soon I won't even feel the emptiness of it not being there. I wonder just how much you do feel when you get older. How much does it take to get a rush, to get an intense feeling? I want to actually care about some things in my life. Some people... "some people live inside a tiny little box/ they're preoccupied with just matchin their socks" as Big and Rich put it. They will be stuck their whole lives, not having any high plans for themselves besides being somewhere on time and having the right shoes on, blah blah blah. I want to actually do something, and actually experience the many things this life has to offer, which is a lot more than just whos turn it is to do dishes. So, those of you who want to, live in your box. Just please let me live, and let me have my christmas. Let me cry on my wedding day, and still be holding hands on my 60th wedding anniversary. Let me go to every Colin Farrell movie. Let me let the dishes build up for a couple of meals, edit my book, go skydiving. Let me watch my teams big game, let me kiss my boyfriend whenever I want to.

Let me. Your box is only built for one.

Love~
Monika

The Chronicles of Monika; Taking the Dorkiness up to Full Throttle for Christmas Eve

This is going to be short because I have to get off in a few minutes, but I had to say, HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE to all of my faithful blog readers!
The Chronicles of Monika... my diaries. I've kept them for most of my life, I have volumes and it's so funny to read them and see how I've changed. They make me laugh, almost cry, and think a lot about change. I love having them to bring back memories of things I wouldn't've remembered otherwise. Just think... you might be mentioned in them somewhere! *gasp* lol. Well, tonight I'm going to be reading more recent entries, and writing of course.
I have to go, but here I am, sitting here in my glasses, my hair pulled back, and a poufy vest on, and you have no idea how incredibly dorky I look. It's pretty awesome maybe I'll wear this outfit to school sometime :-).
Anyhow, we're all getting along on christmas eve (well, those of us that are home, the majority of the kids are at my grandparents) so it's pretty good. I'll talk to yuo tomorrow from my grandmas.

LOVE-
MONIKA :-)

A study of Lesbianism *everyone gasps*

haha. i couldn't help it. dont worry, im not really doing anything to experiment with being a lesbian, I know for a fact that i am perfectly straight. :-). I have held hands with a girl before, but its someone im very close too and we were just kidding around to get reactions out of people. It was a little awkward, because she was a girl of course, but it was okay. and she isnt lesbian (or even close to it), either.
Now that ive enlightened you on that subject lol... what else can we talk about of my personal life....
I had this shirt today that ive never worn, and i laid it on top of my dogs crate, and she chewed a hole in it. So i went to school topless. just kidding, i was bowling with 5th graders today so... y'know the clothes have to stay on. I mean... they usually do anyway during bowling......
im just going to go now :-P

Love-
Monika =)

A study of Anorexia (and starving children in latin america)

Last night, I was puking. How's that for a good introductory sentence? Your fist sentence is supposed to grab attention, i don't know if that made you want to read more or run the other way, but there you go. So, anyway. I was puking and everything, and I got up late this morning because i was feeling all gross you know, and i was going to have my mom drive me to school. My dadd leaves to go to work, but comes back in the front door (meanwhile im still in my pj's on the floor) and says his car wont start, he's going to have to take the van. Now, that leaves me in a predicament, because then my mom wont be able to drive me. So, I have 3 options.
1) Not go to school at all, and miss my friends, and practice, and schoolwork
2) Ride the late bus with obnoxious young children
3) Go with my dadd right then with no time to shower or find decent clothes
After quickly (well, as fast as a brain can go after being up most the night) going through the pros and cons, I chose option 2. But that had its own problems... i only had around 1/2 and hour to forty five minutes to get ready, and i didnt know exactly when the bus came. So, I jump up, announce my plans, and get ready as fast as i can. Then stand and freeze in front of my house, waiting for a bus that could get there any minute or in 15 minutes. And the whole time I still feel sick, and by getting on that bus im sealing my fate because my mom wont be able to come and pick me up from school, but i dont have any second thoughts... so, i ride the bus.
To the anorexia for a day (almost) part. I was still feeling sick when i got to school, and i didnt know how my body would react to solid food, so i didn't eat any to avoid the risk of puking again. All day today, all i had was water and a single tic tac, and not a speck of anything else until like 7 after i got back from practice I had a bowl of Ramen noodles and a glass of milk. But all today, since lunch yesterday, I didn't eat anything else. 29 hours with nothing but a tic tac and some water. It was pretty interesting, i was beyond the point of hunger, so it was just this dull ache. And i was zoned out pretty much all day, but not as bad as i had expected. Ive had worse days, today i could actually function and hold coherent conversations. It was pretty spiffy. Not to mention, at the end of the day, fully clothed with a sweatshirt on, I was 4 pounds lighter than i weigh an any regular morning just out of the shower with no clothes on. It was kind of satisfying in a way, to see the scale down that far, but i would never be able to do anything like that on a regular basis. I love food too much. Today though, I just chose being at school over food, and im glad I did. It was more than worth it... :-). My stomach capacity has shrunk, so i wont be eating that much tomorrow either, but that's okay because im going to be gone during lunchtime tomorrow anyway. Going bowling with 5th graders,...
I'm going to go now, leaving you with my thoughts of being anorexic ( and i threw up too... does that count as bulimic for a day?) and starvation, and all that good stuff. Thank you for reading about my ventures.

Love~
"Big Mon"
(lol cassie and tricia)

Snitching, ratting people out, telling, all also known as backstabbing

Yeah, ive been having this problem with my sister lately, she tells my parents everythign that i tell her in her quest to win favor and get me in trouble. She has no respect at all for my life. My moms ays it's because she's not at the stage of her life yet where she has to worry about "snitching". So im thinking... she just has to wait... becuase if she's going to treat people like this then she's not going to have friends for long first fo all, and second of all, it's going to happen to her.
Just because someone is doing something wrong doesnt mean you turn them in. If they're trusting you, you keep it to yourself. Let people deal with thier own lives you know. You don't need to be thier captain safety. If they tell you and you see soemthign wrong, deal with it with them first. (unless they're like seriously suicidal or have an eating disorder or are cutting themselves or something... then they need help. but i think drugs and such fall into the confidential category) if they still don't change, then they have to learn tha hard way. You dont need to mess up thier lives more by telling people, just to get them in trouble. Its just... its so immature. Someday youre going to have stuff you don't want people to say anything about, and if youve told thier stuff, theyll tell yours. its as simple as that. If someone trusts you enough to throw thier dirt into your yard, keep it there. Dont spread it around, or they'll put up electris fence, and barbed wire, and you can forget about getting any trust fron them again.
Just had to vent a little before... who knows.

Love~
Monika =)

How do you say 'book' in french?

I still have a chapter or so left in my book, but if I get it finished and edited and such before Jan. 15, I can get a free real book copy of it. Isn't that spiffy? But so many people wanted copies, I was thinking there is no way that i could pay to get a bunch printed, but everyone wants to read it. And im going to cherish my one copy that i'll have... but. what if I could get enough people to pay a little bit and I could order a bunch? Wouldn't that be spiffy? I dont think theres enough people though and besides who would want to shell out money for my poopy book lol. They'll all come running back for a refund after they finish it in a day. That would suck and I would cry and go live in a hole in nebraska. No, i wouldnt really id just try again because that's what you should do. Get right back on yuor feet and BEAT THEM UP. I learned some fighting techniques yesterday... hee hee it was fun.
I just thought I'd put that idea here, and say happy hanukka... or however you spell it... and now im going to go about my day.

LOVE!
Monika =)

I bowl, and I'm proud of it!

I was thinking ('oh boy,' youre saying, 'this is going to be good.') that I write about what I like and such... and I haven't written about bowling, one of the biggest loves of my life. So, here I go.
First of all, I'd like to say that bowling IS a sport. My Dadd, not to mention a bunch of my friends, are convinced that it isn't, so I whipped out the old dictionary and looked it up, and... look at this!
The definition-
"Physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively."
Bowling is physical activity. I mean, if throwing a 8-16 pound ball down a 40 foot lane isnt physical activity...
Bowling has rules. Look them up, theres plenty.
Bowling is engaged in competeively, we do go to matches and try to beat the other team. I've seen people get very worked up about it. There's competition.
There's the proof, that bowling is a sport. Im sorry we dont run laps and everything like all the volleyball and basketball people and everything, but that's what you have to do for your sport. For bowling, we practice, and we correct what we're doing wrong, and we get better. You guys dont throw a heavy ball 40 feet, and we dont run. Its fair.

I just had to get that out. I am not a good bowler like my friends. My practice average is about 105.8, and my game average is like a 109. *is embarrassed* I have some really bad games sometimes, and they just kill everything. But it's an improvement from last year, where my average was like a 80, because the bad games outnumbered the good ones. This year I'm learning more from my mistakes, and i'm actually getting better. It's pretty cool.

I have to go and look in my friends' blogs now, ill write later!

Love-
Monika =)

literally forgetting to breathe

Do you know that song where it says "Why can't I breathe whenever i think about you..." has that ever happened to you when you like someone? You're just sitting there and you either can't, or gorget to, breathe... its ... wow
Anyhow, a lot of things are really intense in my life right now, my relationship with my Dadd is going back downhill, i like someone a lot, my faith, school, my cat, Daisey, just drowned in our pool last night. I just have loads to think about, and I'm getting a little lost in it all.
Speaking of school, I've been skipping homework, skipping class, skipping rules, skipping classwork... skipping everything. It's a little fun, it sure livens things up. As long as I don't get caught, and I haven't yet ;-). I'm pretty good at it. Mr. Rapp (the gym teacher who's in charge of giving detentions and such :-P), even saw me the other day skipping gym, and he didn't even say anything.
Do you know where the quietest, best smelling place in the whole school is during classes? The auditorium. And it's unlocked. It's super dark, super quiet, warm... it's awesome. Me and a friend left class the other day on seperate excuses, met up, and sat in there. It was so nice.
Tonight's a parade, which I don't have to be in, thank heaven. Our church usually does a Drive-Thru bethlehem thing where everyone dresses up and everything... it's like a re-creation village in the church parkinglot. We aren't doing it this year though, we'e having a mini Bethlehem in the parade. It's pretty spiffy, but I'm not walking down mainstreet wearing a bedsheet or burlap. No, thank you. I'll watch. I have some friends that are going to be in it, and my family is, so I'll just be supprtive and everything like a good girl.
I'm reading this book, and it's really good. It's called "Certain Prey" by John Sandford. It has a hitwoman instead of all the hitmen that usually work for the mafia.
Anyhow, now I have to go... and do something. I haven't even showered yet and it's like almost one. eeeeeeew.


Love~
Monika =)