My Story.

Once upon a time there was a little man. He lived in a little house on the littlest road with a little cat and a little dog and a big fish. The big fishes name was Fred. He lived in a little pond. He was sad because he was smooshed in the little pond. But the little mad liked Fred and would not let him go. So the little man was sad because Fred was sad. The little man went to his little shed, his little shoes crunching the leaves that were in the grass that needed to be mowed. He started to dig a hole, a big hole that took up half of his little yard. And it took him a looong time because his shovel was so little. But Fred was too big for his little net. How would he get Fred from the little pond (which was more like a deep puddle), to the big pond (which was more like a little pool). The little man went and told Fred about the new hole. Fred had heard the little man digging, but he didn't know what he was doing. So when he heard about the new, big, pond, he was so happy that he jumped out of his little pond right into it. The little man was happy because Fred was happy, and the little cat and the little dog were happy because the little man was happy. So it goes without saying, but for the sake of a good story, (because its all in the ending you know...) they all lived happily ever after!

THE END

Quizzes make me happyful!

happyful is such an awesome word, i read it today in some guys blog that i randomly found.
http://www.dregsofreality.blogspot.com i think it was.
but i LOVE quizzes theyre so funny except when none of the choices match who you are and youre like AAAAHHH what do i pick?!
So heres some of what i got for results that i think are pretty accurate...(at least not wwaaayy off)

----------

You are Marzipan. You're the only female character
and kind of bossy. StrondBad calls you "A
dirty Hippie without the dirt". You are
the musical, artsy, advice giving friend. Will
you ever admit that HomeStar is your
boyfriend???


What HomeStarRunner Character are you? (pictures)


I LOVE HOMESTAR!! hahaha
----------


Shy Nerd!


What is your Inner Loser? COMPLETE w/pics


im not shy anymore... well not even half as bad as i was... am i a nerd?

----------


hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.


What Sign of Affection Are You?

awwww i liked this quiz a lot you should go take it.

----------


Power Rangers Movie!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)


YYYAAAYY I FINALLY GET TO BE A POWER RANGER! SEE!!!!!

----------


It's Eien..just calling to talk. Give me a ring
once you get this...bye


would a nice guy, badass, punk, or a goth boy go for you 12


he's my man *wink* lol

ill stop ill stop. stopping now. i took like three other quizzes but i was like... whos gonna wanna read all this poo anyhow lol.

so today is busy as heck and i have to getoff the line. LOVE YOU

*muah*
-Monika

IWAOTVOBGBTDTOS (yes, that means something)

That, IWAOTVOBGBTDTOS, is the name of my support group. Actually im just kidding, well it really means something but im kidding abotu what it means. Heres the catch (if you arent confused yet). I want to know what you think that stands for. Youll never guess but just come up with something 'kay?
And another thing. Well, another thing that involves your input. I have this hot pink and green lobster/shrimp stuffed animal that Ms. M gave me
at homecoming. I know that was awhile ago, and what does this have to do with now? well, keep reading. He doesnt have a name yet. Yes, its a he, because real men wear pink. He is a super-man because he IS pink. isnt that awesome? and not shrimp pink, but like BAM! hot pink. This little dude is on my fishtank, right under my eye-candy Orlando Bloom poster.
he needs a name. And you get a chance to name him.just comment. cause i love comments. DONT IM ME. or ill yell at you lol. *angry face*
man i have a headache. yes, thanks for charing monika, i know i know...
hold on, i must get ibuprofen.
okay, the ibuprofen situation is solved. In a click and gulp and an aaahhh.... all without your help! thats so awesome. causei was mowing today, and i was thinking (oh boy monika... thinking? are you sure thats safe?) that i am phsyco-dependent. i NEED other people. want to kill me? put me in solitary for a few days. ill go insane. I NEED hugs, and i NEED other people. I would rather watch someone do something first, to make sure im doing it right, then be the first person to go out and do it.
And between all the pressure nowadays, who i want to be, who im supposed to be, and what other people think i should be, its so confusing. I dont have a clue who i am or what do to a lot of the time.
And then theres guys. Im scared to death of them now. I used to be a big flirt, and sometimes i am, but im scared of what they (guys) will expect, or want, or think, or say, or do..... im terrified. And i hate it, but i just cant help it. When they get too close.... im just scared. I want a hug from a guy, because you just cant get that kidn of hug from anyone else. But im scared. I dotn really care about having a boyfriend anymore, ive had a couple, and they ended a little bad, but what do you expect. Im only 15.
And i dont want to get married right now or any time soon. So how are they gonna end. And when you have a boyfriend... its hard. its not like peopel make it seems. Like when you have a bad day, they think its thier fault, or they think 'youre with me why cant you be happy'. But sometimes you just cant be. And you get mad at them, and then do soemthign you regret, and get depressed, and then make up... and plus what they want out of it. Some peopel are like GET MARRIED. some guys are like SEX. some guys are like I JUST WANNA HAVE A GF. wooo. if i have a boyfriend this coming year, i want it to be more of a fun relaxed relationship. to get to know each other. And go from there. slllooowwwwllyyy. Its better that way anyway *winks*

and my dogs bark at everything.

the end.


love-
(kid- "wheres the love?!" me- "IM SITTIN RIGHT HERE!")
hee hee hee
Monika

The Cold Shower

You know when youre crying in the shower, you cant feel the tears... when youre depressed, you know what feels good, just turning the showerhead so its facing straight down, turn it as cold as you can handle, and just stand under it.
And for something really intense (one of the few intense things in life that doesnt leave you confused or hurt) turn it all the way cold, and just put your head under it. It clears out your mind....


as you can tell it hasnt been the best day. we had the purity conference, that was fine, but it was coming home that sucked.... it was bad. i wont cry to you about it though...

love
-m

The Sex Talk II

This morning i went and helped Pam, and it was fun, her kids do all the stuff like i did when i was little so its like a flashback of sorts. So i can home with barbie hair all over me (from brushing ALL the barbies hair, even rapunzel) Becky, i did it for you, there was this one little barbie whose hair was so matted, so i brushed it all out, and braided it so it wont get tangly so easy.i got some football stickers, the Arizona Cardinals on one hand and the Dallas Cowboys on the other. The cowboys fell off somewhere, so i guess the cardinals win! And i had to explain a bunch of stuff to them while watching Black Beauty, i read the book so they were like HOW DO YOU KNOW HIS NAME about this one kid it was funny. And patrick was just his awesome self. he got out all the toys and so pam got back from physical therapy and saw her livingroom buried in toys (well, maybe she didnt see it lol). I decided, that since becky loves my brother, whose 3, then i can love patrick and he can be MY little friend. Even though i usually go for the older guys. :-).
And tonight, were all going to a sleepover, where as ashley c. put it "middle-aged women got to talk to us about sex!". Well, not about it, about not having it. So, you know THE talk, where your parents tell you about it, and then this is the sex talk II (NEW AND IMPROVED! hahaha...), where you are told about how you shouldnt til your married. Im a christian, and im not going to anyway, because i think you should save yourself (pretty much). For your fish lol becky. and this whole sleepover thing is kind of scaring me... i dont really wanna go but i guess my mom is scared about my future, she says that at the rate im going im gonna be a teenage mom. no i dont think so. You know what, im just gonna end this topic before i go off talkign about it and nobody will ever read my blog again. Ill just save it all for tonight. lol...
So now i have to go pack (im am wearing my 'ooh la la' pjs! i dont care what they think lol), and take a shower, and shave my legs.... all the fun stuff. of course. sleepover prep time, about... a few hours lol counting laudry cause the one shirt i HAVE to have is dirty... im kidding... i think.... i just did my laundry anyhow.
OH and im getting ANOTHER typewriter. I just spent 17 bucks on ribbons and correction tape for my newest typewriter, my firt electric one. Thats more than i paid for the typewriter itself. But now im (hopefully) getting a new one, with alot of cool features... go and see...
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3835860514
isnt eBay awesome?

I will shut up now... lol

I love you :-* (oh man, kissing isnt allowed i forgot... :-P j.k)
Love love love-
Monika!

PS its friday :-(

PPS- DUDE. my mom just handed me this letter form school, and were not having homeroom this year. wwwiiieeerrrddd..... thatll be odd. I mean its like my school prep time lol (we need prep time for everything.) but we do get a breakfast break. but we dotn get our schedules before school starts. this is fantastic. im scared. but i cant wait because i love school, and if my schedule is seriouly messed up, then i will cry to mr donlon, and if that doesnt work, ill have my dadd call and holler at him. :-D!

BYE FOR REAL!

...

You know those broken hearts, the ones that have been slowly getting better, but still hurt. like mine. like a song on the radio that you understand so well that its like a slap in the face and your heart bleeds a little bit more. Right when you thought you were on the brink of recovery... the recovery that looked so impossible through tears and mountains of memories that popped up everywhere just a few months before. When your heart was in four million little pieces, when everything you thought was real, everything you trusted (or tricked yourself into believing) was gone in an instant and you cant go back. Maybe now your hearts only in a few pieces, the hurt isnt a constant pain, but its still there. Youre heart has these pieces missing that youll never get back . But youve built walls to protect it... maybe someday someone will come along with thier little jackhammer, tear down your walls, and blow you away. Those little pieces of your heart will always be gone, but that person will take your broken heart and hold it gently and make sure it doesnt get broken again, because if it does itll be worse. and youll keep losing pieces of yourself until there isnt that much left. someone who comes along and sees you for who you are and is willing to compete with the walls and the memories of a broken heart, to get to you, is a brave person, and they just might be worth letting in.Youll always be scared, but not all guys are going to hurt you... you just have to be careful...

-Monika

You havent lived until...

In order to enhance your life experience, the following activities are suggested. *grins* This is actually more like a list fo what i wanna do in my life, and stuff ive already done, but here you go. be inspired. *wink*

1. Have really long hair and really short hair. Ive had 36 inches, and now im down to like 3. Its so different, when its long you have to use tons of shampoo and it takes ages to dry, and when its short you need like a pea sized amount of shampoo and you can have it completely blow-dryed in aroudn 5 minutes or less. Guys, this goes for you too.

2. go skydiving. and hope your parachute opens lol. I really wanna try this sometime because im not that scared of heights and just the though of jumping out of a plane and falling is really cool.

3. get a tattoo. even just a little one. i have no reason for this lol. But i want a heart... i dont know where yet.

4. Walk through a cemetary after midnight. I did this with my friends it was fun. I just kept thinking 'im walking on dead people....' so it was wierd but i wasnt that scared.

5. Go on a big rollercoaster. just because tis fun. even if you puke on roller coasters, do it.

6. break up with somebody. you probably will at some point or another anyway.

7. Live in NYC. a big city with lots of murdering rapists and rats and culture and.... oh wait. theres tons of stuff in NYC. thats what makes it so aweosme. me and ym friends are gonna go share an apartment. And film episodes of 'Sex and the City" haha just kidding.

8. get high. Im not saying go do some illegal drug, a friend on mine (*cough* becky *cough*) got high off cough drops. ive gotten high off spray paint and sharpies. (not on purpose, honest).

9. walk on a bridge that goes over a highway. Its just cool, watching the cars go by underneath you. especially if it just has a wire floor.

10. have a blog. ive done this one already..... duh. try it its addicting. well maybe thats just me and a few other people....

11. grow marigolds. or any kind of flower. Just not johnny jump-ups cause they die really easy. Snake plants live forever... and i uh havent watered mine in weeks.... whoops... growing veggies is more frustrating. but if it works its cool.

12. have your own reality show. just kidding.

13. invent a comic strip. I had one called crazy kids and it was dumb.

14. read a book thats more than 500 pages of your own free will. (or because this list tells you to). I recommend the 785+ pages of Insomnia, by the great Stephen King.

15. sneak out of your house at night. and dont get caught.

16. wear heels more than 4 inches tall. guys, unless your gay you dont have to try this one.

17. lose your heart to someone you cant have. or someone that hates you. it hurts like craziness for.... i dont know yet it still hurts. Im up to 10 exactly months as of tomorrow....

18. make a picture on photoshop. you know cut up a couple picture and combine them. its fun. maybe you could put your dogs head on your stepmoms body or something. :-P

19. play a good april fools day prank. Like... putting plastic wrap under the lids of the shampoo and toothpaste so it wont come out. Or Kool-aid in the shower head. Switching the cereal inside the boxes (my family gets bagged cereal now lol). toilet papering your house (the inside). switch the labels on the milk (you know 2% and skim or something). taping newspaper over peoples bedroom doorways. and when you toilet paper the house, make sure to put it all over the people sleeping too. ;-D

20. wave at truckers. its fun, sometimes they honk!

21. travel all over the world. I love riding in cars.... i havent been in a plane yet but i hope thatll change soon. but theres so much culture and sights.... stuff you cant even imagine. Youve just gotta find it.

22. Live in a tour bus. maybe after NYC.

23. go to a broadway show. since i could never be in one, i want to go to one... broadway is awesome.

24. make a home video. film one or be in one. its crazy fun!

25. slam the door in someones face. dont ask. its just has certain anger-releasing properties. After you slam it you can open it again and smile sweetly and apologize to thier shocked faces. then you get to do it again.

26. be good friends with your neighbors. no matter how old or young they are. then you can have like 3 homes.

27. lose wieght. its so cool to see yourself losign weight. even if you dont keep it off.....

28. Talk to a telemarketer. you know when they say 'how are you' justs tart going on. ask them how they are blah blah blah. just try to make them forget thier job.

29. Another phone one- make a prank call. or a bunch. no ive never tried this one... *innocent smile*

30. skip a class in school. just something rebellious you know.

31. make a list of stuff to do with your life. maybe i should try it sometime. oh wait, i already did haha.

And theres oodles more, like reading the dictionary, but i think thats enough for right now. Ill write another entry like this one soon!


Love hugs and kisses~~
Monika
<3
(^ i hate that heart thing... it looks so dumb its just a 3 and a drunk v that fell over)

The meanderings of a type-writer-loving mind

hi my name is monikA i am special!!!!!!

i love pizza

this typewriter works naNA [my grandma] isnt it cool///????????????????
??

this is so fun

the correction tape works too watch this the word peanut is written after this line-- isnt that great?


this is my first electric typewriter it goes so fast its awesome. I got it at Iroquois. It was pretty cheap too. maybe i can use it to type my essays for school instead of having my dadd print them out that would be fun. ILL HAVE TO get ink refills off eBay.you know this thing has a memory you can push a button and it will erase the whole word you typed

hi everyone. my name is monika, and ive been a door-shutting-aholic for 3 years now.

everyone is going to college :-( its so sad ill miss them. [two sentences omitted ask if you want to know what they were]. I can[nt] wait for school i love guys. i mean ilove school ... hahaha

im gonna shut up no because i am saying too much!!!!!

*runs away*



[this is just all the stuff that i typed wile testing my new old typewriter.]

Witdrawals Are NOT fun

Computer, Sudafed, ibuprofen, sharpie, chocolate, salt,... no withdrawals are fun... and i havent been on in a few days... so no i dotn hate you ive just been wandering the trails deep in the forest, alone, finding out who i am. Just me and the bugs and the birds. And the trees... and grass and flowers and dirt.... well i ont make a list caus eim just kidding. I was babysitting. Which, instead of bringing peace, brings on a feeling of 'i am never having kids'. So ive spent my days with a one year old, and my nights with stephen king (oh yeah lol). So i am sleep deprived, irritable, and paranoid. *grins* fun stuff.
Well, today i found out that i won an essay contest... for an essay that i wrote at like 1 in the morning. i thought it was poo but hey little known to me it was worth $25 and a picture in our little towns paper. yay. I wrote about the abortion-breast cancer connection. yeah great topic lol. I went over the word limit it was supposed to be 100-300 words, and mine was liek 305, and that was after i cut it down. Once i start writing soemtime si just cant stop. theres only one thing that scared me about the picture thing. Im getting my hair cut short the day im getting it, so if my haircut sucks, then the town will get to see. Well whoever reads the paper. So im scared. Cause my hair is gonna be different. Plus i have a sleepover that night, and if my hair is bad then my friends will laugh at me and ill be sad. Not really. ill just wear a hat for a couple months til it grows out. Except in school... uhoh im gonna stop before i freak out.
*deep breath*
The hair trauma of monika lol.
So now i have to go mow the lawn and find ut if i have any clean pants to wear thursday, friday, and saturday. because if i dont, i have to do laundry fast. Well, im going to old navy for school clothes thursday night but still. Ive been so busy im clean out of clean clothes.
So, am i going to mow the lawn or what?
WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING?! IVE ONLY BEEN WAITING FOR IT TO GROW!! ITS LIKE... A HAIRCUT! FOR YOUR YARD! IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL! MOWING THE LAWN IS BLOWING MY MIND!!!!!!!


Vroom vroom
gas in your cereal gives you energy all day long :-D
Monika

I HAVE FOUND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

actually i just found a new watch at walmart this morning. I was just wandering... and there was this rack... and i was just like, oh one look wont hurt, i wont get one... and i strolled over to the other side of the rack, and GUESS WHAT. you know those really cheap watches... that are like 6.72? They were all there, all these beatiful watches (i used to wear three of them... i dont know i just love them, but i have a tendency to break them) and then, i wa stelling my self again, no monika, you cant have one. They are just eye candy like orlando bloom. Dont touch them... just look... but convincing myself was getting harder and harder, and i picked up a couple... and then... OH MAN. There it was. This pink watch, with hearts, and silver, and frosted silver, and i was just like NOOO but i was fully aware that i wasnt going to listen to myself. And i picked it up, and it was all over. And now it is happy clinging to my wrist
In all of its beatifullness.
And then! I babysat. woo. it was so fun as always. Leah is starting to like me more than her parents she sees me the most.
And she gave me a bad headache (it was either that or sitting in the car forever today, cause our family is too huge to fit in the waiting room at a doctors office). So im going to go and get so sleep so i can get up and babysit!
And a glass of milk. yummy. got milk?

Cheers!
Milk-moustached monika

Ah the joys of mental insanity...

I dont get a cool padded white room though... that is so unfair.... you know how awesome that would be.... *stares*...
I just babsat for 10 hours. woo. hoo. got that. you should try it. oh, wait, dont. i want the padded white room all to myself. So brign on the kids and the long hours and all the money. when i get commited (and no, not to a guy) I will have a letter that says all of my money goes to my wonderful friends for thinking im cool and even slightly funny. because youre wrong. And thats funny. so you get money. and for those of you who think im anything more than ugly (besides uglier) I dotn even know. maybe you need glasses? better ones? is it the medication? I dont know whats up with you. maybe you need a white room too. Just get away from mine. I want it all to my (so called) wonderful self. So no one will question me when i talk to myself in a british accent, and no one will question the voices in my head (whoops wasnt supposed to tell anyone about those, but the delete key is sooo far away). And you are thinking 'if she has all these issues (ashley says i have a chemical imbalance.) then why doesnt she get a flipping therapist or counseling?' well, you see, i would, but babysitting doesnt earn that much, and besides im giving all the money to you people anyhow. And so the other option is to get my (no so) wonderful dadd to pay for it. But he says he will only get me counseling if i am a lesbian. Well, i prefer guys (just to set all of you at ease who are getting worried) VERY much over girls (no offense ladies). And i am proud to be a girl. So I will love all you guys. (want my number... leave a comment *wink* *wink* lol j.k) oh boy. i think my herbal tea and my hot shower are calling me... oh ... yes they are.... and since i am too far away to hear my white room calling me (either that or its just shy and not yelling loud enough) and i cant drive to get closer to one, then they are the next best thing. (a massage would be nice though.... *innocent smile*)


hugs and kisses and money and stress to you all
Monika

A Makeover Story

Okay remember how yesterday i mentioned wierd dreams? well, i dont remember much, but imagine this. Mr Polizzi + the show 'A Makover Story' = yikes. Mr Polizzi is a teacher at my school (for those of you who dont know). Lets just say theres isnt much to work with. But that was scary. So now im going to set the record for shortedt blog entry in this blog and say g-bye cause i am a busy girl. I just had to tell you about my dream. *smiles*

Love-
Monika

here kitty kitty kitty....

Today i saw something morbid and wierd and gross and great. Now what could it be other than something dead and decomposed?
My dadd came inside when i was doing the dishes, and he said "hey, do you wanna come out and see this mummified cat in the ceiling of the icehouse?" and i was like sure... so i wentoutside and got to put on a lovely mask to keep out all the asbestos stuff so i dont die, and i climbed the ladder, **we interrupt this program to announce the ALL NEW rreeeeetrraacctttabblllee sharpie! yes that right ladies and gentleman for one very low price you can take home your very own retractable sharpie! They comein all colors! red! purple! green! yellow! The hardest descion youll have to make is what color to get! Why not get them all folks, before the teenage population of america snatches them up! notice- sharpies are not recommended for young children as they may be come addicted. notice number 2- sharpies are not recommended for people over the age of 22.7 as they may not know how to have enough fun with sharpies. Thank you. now back to your program** and there were theses little hollow eyes staring at me from this leathery face and the body was all rotted away except for some leathery parts, and its little dead smile..... it was so wierd... and then my dadd was like "go get me the wheelbarrow" after i got down, so i did, and i came back, and i was like "i wanna see it again" so he called me a morbid wierd sicko and then he let me. and ive been in an almost good mood ever since. isnt that great? But that along with stephen king books... im gonna keep having wierd dreams... i can still see its little eyes.....

Pootie TANG ..... *cries*.... GET AWAY FROM ME

Im sorry i havent written... it isnt that i havent wanted to... its just the famed writers block... plus massive amounts of stress i suppose. actually i dont know what my problem is but the day before yesterday i just broke down crying in the kitchen and i have no idea why. ive just been depressed, and now at the end of the week i am very hyper. i dont know. ashley says that its because i havent seen her in awhile. maybe. all i know is drinking mountain dew helps take off the depression, even though it makes me a bit more hyper. so. whenever i can get my groove back ill be writing stuff for you guys again... but right now im just kinda drifting. ill post every couple of days, but who knows, maybe by midnight tonight ill be fine again. ashley says i have a chemical inbalance because of my mood swings and such. maybe i do. *shrugs* all i know is that its poo. to be running around the house being Pootie Tang for a coupel of hours, then feeling like your going to explode or murder someone... yeah... fun stuff........

watch out, i bite. back away slowly and perhaps you will be spared.

Im in a crabby mood today... i hate being mad... i feel so bad every time i get mad, but i cant help it. I hate being nasty to people, i know how it feels and im sorry, but i cant be happy. It just everybody wants me to do stuff for them, and i ask my dadd to get me a tomato (very nicely) and he flips out. or ever since i got up in the morning my mom has been telling me i cant do this, you arent doing this, no,... and then my sister come sup 'mom said you could scoop out some icecream for us'. woohoo. thanks for telling me. And babysitting everyday, and comeing home to kids... theres no where to go. my other neighbor has kids... im just stuck with kids watching kids movies, yelling at kids, being mad at kids for asking stupid questions, getting even more mad at kids for being brats, getting mad at kids for being kids.... getting mad at everything. and i cant help it.... so just stand back i guess.

-m

i killed a hairdryer in the name of love

sshhh im babysitting and the baby's sleeping... yeah fun stuff. Im still all gross. I spent last night and all today digging a hole down at my church with my friend Kate. you see, theyre renovating (someone hung up a sing that says "Extreme Makeovers, church edition") and they needed a drainage pipe connected to another one so we dug this big hole ("Big enough to bury monika in if she curls up" according to either john or pastor, i dont remember...) and then a trench thing... yeah it was fun. And kate cut up some pipe, and i shovelled, and shovelled, and shovelled some more. I have like 8 blisters... even though i took johns gloves.
so i shall write more later. I must go and stuff food down Leah yay!

Love, hugs, and everything else;
Monika