IWAOTVOBGBTDTOS (yes, that means something)

That, IWAOTVOBGBTDTOS, is the name of my support group. Actually im just kidding, well it really means something but im kidding abotu what it means. Heres the catch (if you arent confused yet). I want to know what you think that stands for. Youll never guess but just come up with something 'kay?
And another thing. Well, another thing that involves your input. I have this hot pink and green lobster/shrimp stuffed animal that Ms. M gave me
at homecoming. I know that was awhile ago, and what does this have to do with now? well, keep reading. He doesnt have a name yet. Yes, its a he, because real men wear pink. He is a super-man because he IS pink. isnt that awesome? and not shrimp pink, but like BAM! hot pink. This little dude is on my fishtank, right under my eye-candy Orlando Bloom poster.
he needs a name. And you get a chance to name him.just comment. cause i love comments. DONT IM ME. or ill yell at you lol. *angry face*
man i have a headache. yes, thanks for charing monika, i know i know...
hold on, i must get ibuprofen.
okay, the ibuprofen situation is solved. In a click and gulp and an aaahhh.... all without your help! thats so awesome. causei was mowing today, and i was thinking (oh boy monika... thinking? are you sure thats safe?) that i am phsyco-dependent. i NEED other people. want to kill me? put me in solitary for a few days. ill go insane. I NEED hugs, and i NEED other people. I would rather watch someone do something first, to make sure im doing it right, then be the first person to go out and do it.
And between all the pressure nowadays, who i want to be, who im supposed to be, and what other people think i should be, its so confusing. I dont have a clue who i am or what do to a lot of the time.
And then theres guys. Im scared to death of them now. I used to be a big flirt, and sometimes i am, but im scared of what they (guys) will expect, or want, or think, or say, or do..... im terrified. And i hate it, but i just cant help it. When they get too close.... im just scared. I want a hug from a guy, because you just cant get that kidn of hug from anyone else. But im scared. I dotn really care about having a boyfriend anymore, ive had a couple, and they ended a little bad, but what do you expect. Im only 15.
And i dont want to get married right now or any time soon. So how are they gonna end. And when you have a boyfriend... its hard. its not like peopel make it seems. Like when you have a bad day, they think its thier fault, or they think 'youre with me why cant you be happy'. But sometimes you just cant be. And you get mad at them, and then do soemthign you regret, and get depressed, and then make up... and plus what they want out of it. Some peopel are like GET MARRIED. some guys are like SEX. some guys are like I JUST WANNA HAVE A GF. wooo. if i have a boyfriend this coming year, i want it to be more of a fun relaxed relationship. to get to know each other. And go from there. slllooowwwwllyyy. Its better that way anyway *winks*

and my dogs bark at everything.

the end.


love-
(kid- "wheres the love?!" me- "IM SITTIN RIGHT HERE!")
hee hee hee
Monika