IM CHEATING ON YOU!

so, you all wonder why i havent been here lately. you ask questions behind my back. I have heard the talk. And guess what. its all true. im having an affair. Hes british. and he takes care of me, unlike you. and im sorry.... will you forgive me? well, it doesnt matter, because im leaving you for him. I dont want you to call me, i dont want to talk. The kids? I dont want the kids. theyre yours. you keep them. And you can tell them what a you-know-what thier mommy was too. because they probably wont hear from me either. Im starting over. A new slate. hes going to buy me new clothes even. What about my stuff? I dont want it. burn it. give it to charity. wear it if you want. that red dress, thats really your color. you might have to lose some weight to fit into it though. Or maybe a lot. Whatre you going to do? go back to school, you really could use an education. or maybe get a better job, since i wont be around to help pay the bills. And since im going to be gone, youre going to have to cook too. You wont be able to afford takeout every night. And get a babysitter. Man, i should write you a list. And dont even think about getting another girlfriend. you wont be able to, dressed like that. with your kids and your sucky job. you better get to work. And get used to it, cause youre going to be doing it for awhile. youre lucky i was with you this long. why am i leaving? I think the question is, why should i stay? whats here? not much.
and when i can have everything, theres no reason to stay. And i have had everything for the past few months. But you, you couldnt even tell. You, and your part0time job, come home, read the blog, sit on the couch. Well, youre going to learn to pull your weight now, bud. All of it. alone.