Can You Feel It?

 What on earth is love anyway...
 I wonder, what is love like when you get older? Can you feel it? so many of the adults i see treat love more like a duty.  Like theres no feeling associated with it. Maybe there isnt. Maybe "falling in love" is just finidng someone you can stand who will treat you halfway decent. When your cell rings and you look and see that its your boyfriend, your response shouldnt be 'damn'. At least i dont think so. This may sound dumb, but on "A Wedding Story", there was this one episode, where they had an awesome couple. Neither one was perfect, but they brought out the best in each other. They loved being around each other, they made each other happy. There was physical contact, not three miles between them. They were just getting married because of the reasons i said before, because they could stand each other and treated each other halfway decent, there was something there. I think they felt it. I know, when i find somebody, i want to see him, and know how lucky i am. when he smiles that way, i want to feel it. ive felt it before, i know its possible, i just dotn want to 'grow out of it'. I dont ever want to be too mature to feel love. And if i dont feel it, then i dont think its there. Can you feel it? And the guy that i find someday, i want him to love me too, and feel it. I want to get old and still be holding hands. A lady in church told me and some friends all abotu guys a little while ago. "When youre dating, guys are like hunters" she said. "They hunt you down, they tell you youre beautiful, they open doors, they buy you things. But once they say "i do", once youre thiers, once they walk otu that door *pffft* they did thier work. Keep 'em dating for your life. at leats four or five years." Ive never reall wanted to get married, because thats what im afriad of. Of course, it depends on what God has in store for me, and i just have to wait and see what happens, but ill be scared out of my mind that thats going to happen. That itll just die. That we wont care about spending time with each other, we wont comliment each other, we wont help each other. We wont feel anything. I want an intense life. intense fear, love, whatever.  and i want to feel it. i want to feel him holding me tight, i want to feel it in my heart, and i want to know without a doubt that its there. And i want him to feel the same way.Its going to be hard to find someone like that, but i hope someday i will. And ive got plenty of time. Ive got plenty of patience too, and im going to wait until its perfect, or i know that you just dont feel when you get older.
 
 
(I dont know how this will sound to all of you reading it...)